Here's our video. Finally!
Some of you may have heard, but some parents at the talent show threw a hissy fit because their American children had watched a video implying a murder. So currently, the talent show is off for next year. But we're working on that.
P.S. the plot was confusing to many. It's about a man who can see into people's futures, including his own sister. Early screenings of the video yielded some interesting results: people thought that I was on drugs or something.
At any rate, everybody 7th grade and under at my school pretty much hates me now. :)
That's just, like, your opinion, man.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Music video highlights
Well, my team in Broadcast Media finished our video today. It's a music video for the song Sunburn by Muse (even though I am a hardcore Muse fan, I did not suggest it, for the record.) I've uploaded it to YouTube twice today, and it can't process the audio, so...yeah. But I should have it up by the end of tomorrow.
We got some great stills from the raw footage, though!
Aww, now you've seen the whole video.
We got some great stills from the raw footage, though!
Aww, now you've seen the whole video.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Field Guide to Crappy Movies
With two young sisters, it's hard not to see a lifetime's worth of movies that are just bad. I have compiled a list of trends I've noticed.
Here are a few quick clues that the movie you're watching is 'B' level:
Starts with an upbeat, peppy song that starts with a bunch of children yelling, "Let's Go!"
"After your mother died..."
Any film based on a video game.
A sequel to a popular cartoon made over four years prior (Pixar excepted.)
An animal in hats and casual wear dancing to an Elvis song. Laugh! It's funny! Come on!
Brendan Fraser
Slow-motion sequences of someone landing a jump.
An extended scene of the female lead singing and twirling clothes in her bedroom.
An evil teen Barbie who is eventually soaked in some liquid, along with her insidious cronies. (alternative: evil old lady who runs an orphanage.)
Battle scenes in a movie rated PG.
A woman shooting a perfect bullseye, to the great astonishment of the surrounding male chauvinists.
Either the opening or end-quote:
"Some say that...still others say that...but I believe that..."
Here are a few quick clues that the movie you're watching is 'B' level:
Starts with an upbeat, peppy song that starts with a bunch of children yelling, "Let's Go!"
"After your mother died..."
Any film based on a video game.
A sequel to a popular cartoon made over four years prior (Pixar excepted.)
An animal in hats and casual wear dancing to an Elvis song. Laugh! It's funny! Come on!
Brendan Fraser
Slow-motion sequences of someone landing a jump.
An extended scene of the female lead singing and twirling clothes in her bedroom.
An evil teen Barbie who is eventually soaked in some liquid, along with her insidious cronies. (alternative: evil old lady who runs an orphanage.)
Battle scenes in a movie rated PG.
A woman shooting a perfect bullseye, to the great astonishment of the surrounding male chauvinists.
Either the opening or end-quote:
"Some say that...still others say that...but I believe that..."
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Burn of the Month
I'm back! Sorry I haven't been posting; this week's been rough yada yada yada.
Best Burn of the Month, hands down, goes to Katy Black.
We were all sitting there in lunch at school, and we were discussing about having an impersonation contest of people in the class.
I said, "Hey, that'd be awesome! I do a great Mr. Kau impression! "
Mr. Kau, who was sitting there, remarked, "I have spent my entire life perfecting my Mr. Kau impression."
Everybody chuckled. Katy said off-handedly, "That seems like a waste."
Ok, maybe you had to be there. But it was good.
Best Burn of the Month, hands down, goes to Katy Black.
We were all sitting there in lunch at school, and we were discussing about having an impersonation contest of people in the class.
I said, "Hey, that'd be awesome! I do a great Mr. Kau impression! "
Mr. Kau, who was sitting there, remarked, "I have spent my entire life perfecting my Mr. Kau impression."
Everybody chuckled. Katy said off-handedly, "That seems like a waste."
Ok, maybe you had to be there. But it was good.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Scariest Photo I Have Ever Seen
A year or so ago, my grandma bought me a $5 demon-possessed camera the size of a golf ball. I only used it once, taking a few pictures around my house. One photo was of my distant (and now more distant) cousin, and it truly is the scariest picture I have ever seen. It's below if you want to see it, but I'm warning you, it may give you nightmares. Don't say I didn't warn you.
No, that is not a mask or a photoshop. This is an honest-to-God photograph and it scared my pants off when I saw it. I will never look at that kid the same.
No, that is not a mask or a photoshop. This is an honest-to-God photograph and it scared my pants off when I saw it. I will never look at that kid the same.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
I am a "Prince" seeking "Woman"
Look at "npolz205".
A mere three weeks after the wedding and Prince William's already back on Match.com.
A mere three weeks after the wedding and Prince William's already back on Match.com.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The Idaho Pizza Company Experience
A few hours before our fabulous production of the Music Man, we decided to order pizza. I was delegated to order the pizza by phone. Little did I know, it would take a few minutes less than ordering a shipment of weapons-grade plutonium.
I soon realized that no one actually cared where the pizza came from. I decided on Idaho Pizza Company, and when I called, I was served by Chet.
This call was recorded for quality control purposes:
Chet: Hi welcome to Idaho Pizza Company where world-class service is our pride. My name is Chet, how can I help you?
Me: Uh, yeah, I'd like to order two pepperonis, two --
Chet: Hold on a sec. I need a pen. (Uhhhhhh pen pen pen) Oh a pen. I found a pen.
Me: Okay--
Chet: Ready to take your order, sir.
Me: I need two pepperonis, two cheeses, and a combo.
Chet: Uhh. Two............pepperonis. Joey! Is it two r's? ... One r? ... Okay, pepperonis. What was the other thing?
Me: Two cheeses and a combo.
Chet: Okay. Have you ever ordered from us before?
Me: No.
Chet: Alright. Address?
Me: 6100 N. Locust Grove.
Chet: ...mmkay. Age?
Me: Huh?
Chet: I just need to be sure you're over 18.
Me: (in slightly deeper voice) I'm twenty seven.
Chet: Sex?
Me: I just want a pizza.
Chet: Company policy, sir. It's just for the records. I'm afraid I don't make the rules.
Me: I'm a guy.
Chet: Fabulous.
Long pause as Chet makes careful note of this detail. I hear the chewing of gum and the voice of Ellen Degeneres, while Nickelback plays somewhere. Chet picks up the phone again.
Chet: Social Security?
Me: Okay, what is WITH this crap?
The moral of this story is: Get Guido's instead. It's worth the drive. (And sense of sociological well-being.)
I soon realized that no one actually cared where the pizza came from. I decided on Idaho Pizza Company, and when I called, I was served by Chet.
This call was recorded for quality control purposes:
Chet: Hi welcome to Idaho Pizza Company where world-class service is our pride. My name is Chet, how can I help you?
Me: Uh, yeah, I'd like to order two pepperonis, two --
Chet: Hold on a sec. I need a pen. (Uhhhhhh pen pen pen) Oh a pen. I found a pen.
Me: Okay--
Chet: Ready to take your order, sir.
Me: I need two pepperonis, two cheeses, and a combo.
Chet: Uhh. Two............pepperonis. Joey! Is it two r's? ... One r? ... Okay, pepperonis. What was the other thing?
Me: Two cheeses and a combo.
Chet: Okay. Have you ever ordered from us before?
Me: No.
Chet: Alright. Address?
Me: 6100 N. Locust Grove.
Chet: ...mmkay. Age?
Me: Huh?
Chet: I just need to be sure you're over 18.
Me: (in slightly deeper voice) I'm twenty seven.
Chet: Sex?
Me: I just want a pizza.
Chet: Company policy, sir. It's just for the records. I'm afraid I don't make the rules.
Me: I'm a guy.
Chet: Fabulous.
Long pause as Chet makes careful note of this detail. I hear the chewing of gum and the voice of Ellen Degeneres, while Nickelback plays somewhere. Chet picks up the phone again.
Chet: Social Security?
Me: Okay, what is WITH this crap?
The moral of this story is: Get Guido's instead. It's worth the drive. (And sense of sociological well-being.)
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Best of Yahoo! News
I make fun of Yahoo News a lot, admittedly. But they deserve it, the two-bit thimble riggers.
Here are some of my favorites:
Having a boom, eh? Interesting choice of words.
She's like a frog, you put the spotlight on her and she's lulled into a deep trance. (Reminds me of Jack Nicholson in Batman.
And my personal favorite:
I didn't read the article for fear of what I may find.
Stay tuned, folks!
Here are some of my favorites:
Having a boom, eh? Interesting choice of words.
She's like a frog, you put the spotlight on her and she's lulled into a deep trance. (Reminds me of Jack Nicholson in Batman.
And my personal favorite:
I didn't read the article for fear of what I may find.
Stay tuned, folks!
HD Tape
An hour and a half ago, I thought that little could get more ridiculous for me than spending over twelve hours of my life building a bridge out of manila file folders, designed to hold over fifteen pounds of books.
I was proven wrong.
That's right, this tape is in High-Definition. Wal-mart is just full of surprises.
A man greeted me at the door, desperately trying to use my plastic shopping bag to suffocate himself. He left an imprint:
Needless to say, I am safe from drugs. My life is psychedelic enough already. In HD of course.
I was proven wrong.
That's right, this tape is in High-Definition. Wal-mart is just full of surprises.
A man greeted me at the door, desperately trying to use my plastic shopping bag to suffocate himself. He left an imprint:
Needless to say, I am safe from drugs. My life is psychedelic enough already. In HD of course.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Fishing
Sorry you guys, I've been real busy lately, so I haven't been posting very well lately. The next week or so may get rough, but here's this:
Cracked.com
And this:
Cracked.com
And this:
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Movie Spits
This just occurred to me. In movies like Pirates 2 when the dashing protagonist is tied to a spit over a fire, they are never thrust through the body with it properly, otherwise the protagonist would have little chance of escape. Instead, they are tied hanging on the spit.
While this makes sense from the director's point of view, I thought it only fair to warn you guys that when you roast someone, you MUST MUST MUST spear the person carefully lengthwise to ensure that he is cooked evenly on all sides.
Now that's what you call a half-baked plot. *sound of evil pun stabbing its own author in the heart*
While this makes sense from the director's point of view, I thought it only fair to warn you guys that when you roast someone, you MUST MUST MUST spear the person carefully lengthwise to ensure that he is cooked evenly on all sides.
Now that's what you call a half-baked plot. *sound of evil pun stabbing its own author in the heart*
Monday, May 2, 2011
Live From the Pentagon
Intel has revealed that this image depicts not the Situation Room, as per popular belief, but the "Breakfast Room", where the leaders of our nation learn over morning Facebook that the Nation's Most Wanted has been brought down. Lucky for them, the Pentagon photographer was on hand to capture their shock.
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